My sisters both request a blog post devoted to them.
Here it is.
It'd be more exciting, but as neither of them currently lives at home, I have rather little to say about my usual interactions with them. Which, I suppose, is also a reflection of my horrible job maintaining contact with them both. I do feel awful guilty for this since my sisters are quite the interesting pair and liven my life tremendously. As it is, I'm currently engaged in a fierce rematch in the wonderful game of Words with Friends (I narrowly lost the first match, but I think I'm quite in my element in this second game). As for the other sister, well, I'm hoping she'll contact me quickly as to the appropriateness of a visit to her college the weekend of Nov. 12th... I'd have time to drive up and visit her at school and meet the many friends I've had an opportunity to meet via skype.
On a side note, my students were shocked that I said I didn't want to get married anytime soon today. They couldn't understand why I said I wanted to wait awhile. This is partially because a) they live in a sort of fantasy world where they believe I should be involved with a fellow math teacher and have "smart math children" (direct quote) and b) they haven't grasped just how young I truly am. I think if they realized that I'm only 2-5 years older than them, then they wouldn't be surprised by my disinclination towards matrimony. Silly kids. Getting married is for adults. And, as much as I'm not a child, I am not an adult. (Perhaps it's just the influence of having watched the Britney Spears themed Glee episode tonight but I'm feeling very "Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman" tonight). I live with my parents for pete's sake. Sheesh. I'm sooo cool. Who wouldn't want to be a 21 year old math teacher living with her parents?
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Sunday, September 26, 2010
I love JCrew (but mostly just sales in general)
This weekend was the long awaited J. Crew warehouse sale in Lynchburg. In addition to this meaning I was getting to catch up with my sweet collegiate (and some alums!) friends, it meant shopping extravaganza. I managed to escape the sale with 4 new pairs of shoes (3 pairs of heels!), 1 pair of pants, 3 cardigans, 1 vest, and 2 dresses. I'm mildly in love with the vest. To the point where I have actually uttered the phrase "I love Vest" multiple times in the last hour. I love Vest. I'm working on becoming a bit more trendy and I think Vest fits the bill. It reminds me of England and riding and tweed and that whole vibe. Anyway, just now I was retrying on my clothes as I put them away. I mean, doesn't every girl love playing dress up in her closet? Testing out new outfits and clothing combos? I really think four year olds have the right idea on how to live life- finger foods (chicken nuggets, pizza, hamburgers, french fries... really, the most delicious foods are all eaten sans silverware), nap time, dress up... The list is endless really.
Anyway, as I said, I was trying on my clothes when my brother came in to ask a question about his Spanish hw. Next thing I know, my brother is serving as my mini fashion consultant. He hasn't done that since I was in high school. I used to get up in the morning and the way timing worked, I could get his approval on my outfit while I was brushing my teeth and he was just getting up to go to elementary school. If my brother said I didn't look cool, it meant I needed to change clothes ASAP. Usually, my 10 year old brother would kinda shrug and say "looks decent" and I would feel like I was in acceptable high school senior attire. Flash forward five years and now he's approving my work clothes. His descriptions of how outfits made me look were dead on. One of my newest dresses made me look like "Madeleine" (one of my favorite literary heroines-she says pooh pooh to the lion in the zoo, after all). He noticed that high waisted dresses/pants make my short stumpy legs a bit less short and stumpy. He warned me when certain cardigan/shirt combos made me look like a granny. He helped me figure out what was trendy and professional enough to wear to school and what was trendy to wear on a weekend and what I really should never attempt to wear in public ever. I love my brother. He's so cool. I'm not exaggerating. I realize this makes him sound a bit limp wristed, but it isn't like that at all. He's just very fashion conscious. And more men should be.
Anyway, as I said, I was trying on my clothes when my brother came in to ask a question about his Spanish hw. Next thing I know, my brother is serving as my mini fashion consultant. He hasn't done that since I was in high school. I used to get up in the morning and the way timing worked, I could get his approval on my outfit while I was brushing my teeth and he was just getting up to go to elementary school. If my brother said I didn't look cool, it meant I needed to change clothes ASAP. Usually, my 10 year old brother would kinda shrug and say "looks decent" and I would feel like I was in acceptable high school senior attire. Flash forward five years and now he's approving my work clothes. His descriptions of how outfits made me look were dead on. One of my newest dresses made me look like "Madeleine" (one of my favorite literary heroines-she says pooh pooh to the lion in the zoo, after all). He noticed that high waisted dresses/pants make my short stumpy legs a bit less short and stumpy. He warned me when certain cardigan/shirt combos made me look like a granny. He helped me figure out what was trendy and professional enough to wear to school and what was trendy to wear on a weekend and what I really should never attempt to wear in public ever. I love my brother. He's so cool. I'm not exaggerating. I realize this makes him sound a bit limp wristed, but it isn't like that at all. He's just very fashion conscious. And more men should be.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
You Can Never Go Back Home
Recently, a friend told me that I need to fly the college coop and make new friends/get settled in my new adult life. While I appreciate her concern, I'm not sure how much that's exactly what I need to do.
Yes, I'll admit, I do keep in touch rather ridiculously with my friends from school. I'm considered quite the sentimental for all the things I'll reminisce about. However, I think it's fair to say that I'm one of the rare people who never had true friends like the ones I made in college. My high school friends? Eh, those friendships were more formed based off circumstances and not an actual connection. Even the group of girls who I do maintain regular contact with from my high school days are ones where the friendships didn't really flourish until after I graduated high school. And yes, to an extent my college friendships are based off circumstances also. Joining the same sorority was a major circumstance behind the vast majority of my female friendships in college. But the closest ties within that sorority? Based entirely off actual connections.
One of my dearest friendships with a remaining member of the No Luck Club was formed one night when we spent several hours discussing our mutual interest in not having children ever and just being the cool aunt someday. We were shocked and surprised to find someone else who shared our views. That disinterest in motherhood led to the discovery of many other similarities, not the least of which is a profound love for the movie The Last of the Mohicans. We were firmly agreed that motherhood might agree with us if Nathaniel "Hawkeye" Bumpo was the father.
And that's just one example. If I gained nothing else from college, I will always be grateful for the people I was able to meet and befriend. I didn't realize what it was like to have a real friendship, a real connection with someone of a similar background and with similar interests until I went to college. Most other people developed a feel for that luxury in high school. A good friend of mine even told me, "I'm not afraid of losing touch with you. You try and keep in touch with all of us because you didn't have high school friends." As much as that makes me sound like a lonely pathetic schoolgirl, I rather think she hit the nail on the head with that observation. If flying the college nest means letting go of those friendships and going months, rather than days or even weeks, between conversations with the first people I felt truly comfortable with- then no, I refuse to follow through with the doctor's orders.
As for step two of the recommended growing up procedure- making new friends/a new life for myself here...
1. I'm not interested in settling here. My boredom clock is ticking. June 15th, 2011- please arrive with a job in a new location!
2. I've lived here for 15 years. While I would never presume to call myself an expert on the fun things to do, I would say I'm more than familiar with the available activities and recreation in the area. As it is, the one new recreational activity I've become interested in, rock climbing, isn't available within 40 min. of here. Lame.
3. I have no clue how to make friends here. How on earth do you meet young, single, professionals outside of work? When you don't really have people at work who can make introductions for you? This is a serious question for any few remaining readers. My mother has already suggested joining the church's "Social Activities for Young Single Catholics" club. Wasn't aware of its existence before today, but I promise to look into this suggestion at the least. Other recommendations have included taking classes at the Y (yeah... not really my thing. I never really understood how people met people at the gym. "Hey! Nice Nike shorts! I have the same ones in blue! Want to go shopping with me sometime to get new ones?" or "I saw you doing squats over there. Nice form. We should discuss how much you bench press over a beer sometime") or signing up for pottery classes and the like (a more tempting offer, but really, who goes to these things besides old women?). So yeah... I'm taking suggestions on how to meet young, single, professionals. I've already considered the possibility of a classified ad, "Wanted: Friend. Must be young (under 30), single", but that sounds like I'm looking for a cheap escort. Gah.
In school news, I had my first interaction with a not overjoyed parent last week. When I first heard that a parent was requesting a meeting, I freaked. I called upon a fellow No Luck Clubber (one good thing about this Funemployment thing, my friends are always available for chatting) and proceeded to freak out to her. I was filled with self-doubt about my teaching abilities and anxiety over the possibility of getting chewed out by a parent. I then wasn't through freaking out so I freaked out to my mom. Major plus about living at home? Mom can hold me while I cry to her and feel like a failure. My mood would swing out of control as I would alternate between being angry and defensive about the upcoming meeting ("Your child is a high B, low A student! You're an obsessive helicopter parent!") to anxious and guilt ridden ("I know my tests are too long; no one finished on time. But what if the bad grades are because I can't teach? What if I'm a horrible teacher?"). And like much of my life with regards to things that freak me out, the meeting was no big deal. Silly me. However, I am now fully confident and prepared for any future meetings I may have with parents.
Teacher highlight of the week: Seeing a student's grade raise from a C+ to a B- after one particularly successful quiz and finding myself cheering for said student in my room.
Teacher lowlight of the week: Chaperoning on a school retreat. It is myself and the other young math teacher on one bus and the older, more established theology teacher on the other bus. When the theo teacher comes to get the headcount from us, the bus driver asks, "Are there even any adults on this bus?!" Awkward. When the theo teacher points out that we are adults, the bus driver grimaced. More awkward.
Yes, I'll admit, I do keep in touch rather ridiculously with my friends from school. I'm considered quite the sentimental for all the things I'll reminisce about. However, I think it's fair to say that I'm one of the rare people who never had true friends like the ones I made in college. My high school friends? Eh, those friendships were more formed based off circumstances and not an actual connection. Even the group of girls who I do maintain regular contact with from my high school days are ones where the friendships didn't really flourish until after I graduated high school. And yes, to an extent my college friendships are based off circumstances also. Joining the same sorority was a major circumstance behind the vast majority of my female friendships in college. But the closest ties within that sorority? Based entirely off actual connections.
One of my dearest friendships with a remaining member of the No Luck Club was formed one night when we spent several hours discussing our mutual interest in not having children ever and just being the cool aunt someday. We were shocked and surprised to find someone else who shared our views. That disinterest in motherhood led to the discovery of many other similarities, not the least of which is a profound love for the movie The Last of the Mohicans. We were firmly agreed that motherhood might agree with us if Nathaniel "Hawkeye" Bumpo was the father.
And that's just one example. If I gained nothing else from college, I will always be grateful for the people I was able to meet and befriend. I didn't realize what it was like to have a real friendship, a real connection with someone of a similar background and with similar interests until I went to college. Most other people developed a feel for that luxury in high school. A good friend of mine even told me, "I'm not afraid of losing touch with you. You try and keep in touch with all of us because you didn't have high school friends." As much as that makes me sound like a lonely pathetic schoolgirl, I rather think she hit the nail on the head with that observation. If flying the college nest means letting go of those friendships and going months, rather than days or even weeks, between conversations with the first people I felt truly comfortable with- then no, I refuse to follow through with the doctor's orders.
As for step two of the recommended growing up procedure- making new friends/a new life for myself here...
1. I'm not interested in settling here. My boredom clock is ticking. June 15th, 2011- please arrive with a job in a new location!
2. I've lived here for 15 years. While I would never presume to call myself an expert on the fun things to do, I would say I'm more than familiar with the available activities and recreation in the area. As it is, the one new recreational activity I've become interested in, rock climbing, isn't available within 40 min. of here. Lame.
3. I have no clue how to make friends here. How on earth do you meet young, single, professionals outside of work? When you don't really have people at work who can make introductions for you? This is a serious question for any few remaining readers. My mother has already suggested joining the church's "Social Activities for Young Single Catholics" club. Wasn't aware of its existence before today, but I promise to look into this suggestion at the least. Other recommendations have included taking classes at the Y (yeah... not really my thing. I never really understood how people met people at the gym. "Hey! Nice Nike shorts! I have the same ones in blue! Want to go shopping with me sometime to get new ones?" or "I saw you doing squats over there. Nice form. We should discuss how much you bench press over a beer sometime") or signing up for pottery classes and the like (a more tempting offer, but really, who goes to these things besides old women?). So yeah... I'm taking suggestions on how to meet young, single, professionals. I've already considered the possibility of a classified ad, "Wanted: Friend. Must be young (under 30), single", but that sounds like I'm looking for a cheap escort. Gah.
In school news, I had my first interaction with a not overjoyed parent last week. When I first heard that a parent was requesting a meeting, I freaked. I called upon a fellow No Luck Clubber (one good thing about this Funemployment thing, my friends are always available for chatting) and proceeded to freak out to her. I was filled with self-doubt about my teaching abilities and anxiety over the possibility of getting chewed out by a parent. I then wasn't through freaking out so I freaked out to my mom. Major plus about living at home? Mom can hold me while I cry to her and feel like a failure. My mood would swing out of control as I would alternate between being angry and defensive about the upcoming meeting ("Your child is a high B, low A student! You're an obsessive helicopter parent!") to anxious and guilt ridden ("I know my tests are too long; no one finished on time. But what if the bad grades are because I can't teach? What if I'm a horrible teacher?"). And like much of my life with regards to things that freak me out, the meeting was no big deal. Silly me. However, I am now fully confident and prepared for any future meetings I may have with parents.
Teacher highlight of the week: Seeing a student's grade raise from a C+ to a B- after one particularly successful quiz and finding myself cheering for said student in my room.
Teacher lowlight of the week: Chaperoning on a school retreat. It is myself and the other young math teacher on one bus and the older, more established theology teacher on the other bus. When the theo teacher comes to get the headcount from us, the bus driver asks, "Are there even any adults on this bus?!" Awkward. When the theo teacher points out that we are adults, the bus driver grimaced. More awkward.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Perk of living at home
When you've had a miserable day and you're just absolutely stressed and your feels alternate between anxiety, guilt, apprehension, fear, anger, at least your mom is there to hold you and reassure you that everything will be better.
Moms make everything better. Big fan of them.
Moms make everything better. Big fan of them.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
the lonely life at home
Work is fun. I love my students (some are such characters... others are character builders), the faculty is really inviting, and I generally enjoy teaching.
Highlights of the past two weeks:
-being asked out (jokingly, obviously) by a student
-being asked about my ethnicity (apparently being Catholic rules out the chance I might be Native American? Not sure what these kids are thinking)
-being asked about my age (the current guess is 23, a belief solidified by the fact that whenever they say I'm 23, I laugh and therefore prove it's true haha)
-shocking my students when they found out I had a tattoo
The first test I'm giving out is on Friday. Big deal. Kids are freaking out. I'm freaking out trying to make the test before Friday.
Homecoming is also apparently a huuuge deal at this school. Or maybe homecoming is always a huge deal in high school and I've just forgotten. There is a door decorating contest that I'm hoping goes well for my homeroom. I predict a shabby showing so far, judging purely on my homeroom students.
However, as well as work is going, it doesn't eradicate the fact that I find life at home lonely. I don't really have any close friends in town. Most of my friends have schedules incompatible with constant communication with me. It'd be nice to find someone to talk to on a semi regular basis who is in a similar place in life. I don't really make things easier for myself I suppose. I haven't really gone searching for close friends in my hometown. To a certain extent, I don't know how possible it is for me to find close friends my age. I'm sure I can find good friends my age (with some serious research), but I don't know about close. Most people, and by most I'd venture to say 99%, who are recent grads and living in this area are here because they want to live in this area and work in this area and settle here. I'm still stuck in my indefinitely long "I want to leave this state and area for good" phase. I have a hard time imagining how well I'd relate to someone who is happy to settle here when all I want to do is escape. In high school, my only close friends were the kids with similar views on escaping the state for college. I just don't relate or understand people who are content to remain within the same 50 mile radius of where they were born. It's hard for me to fathom. I need to make friends soon though or I'll sink into depression from the sheer loneliness. As I've always said, I can't handle isolation.
Highlights of the past two weeks:
-being asked out (jokingly, obviously) by a student
-being asked about my ethnicity (apparently being Catholic rules out the chance I might be Native American? Not sure what these kids are thinking)
-being asked about my age (the current guess is 23, a belief solidified by the fact that whenever they say I'm 23, I laugh and therefore prove it's true haha)
-shocking my students when they found out I had a tattoo
The first test I'm giving out is on Friday. Big deal. Kids are freaking out. I'm freaking out trying to make the test before Friday.
Homecoming is also apparently a huuuge deal at this school. Or maybe homecoming is always a huge deal in high school and I've just forgotten. There is a door decorating contest that I'm hoping goes well for my homeroom. I predict a shabby showing so far, judging purely on my homeroom students.
However, as well as work is going, it doesn't eradicate the fact that I find life at home lonely. I don't really have any close friends in town. Most of my friends have schedules incompatible with constant communication with me. It'd be nice to find someone to talk to on a semi regular basis who is in a similar place in life. I don't really make things easier for myself I suppose. I haven't really gone searching for close friends in my hometown. To a certain extent, I don't know how possible it is for me to find close friends my age. I'm sure I can find good friends my age (with some serious research), but I don't know about close. Most people, and by most I'd venture to say 99%, who are recent grads and living in this area are here because they want to live in this area and work in this area and settle here. I'm still stuck in my indefinitely long "I want to leave this state and area for good" phase. I have a hard time imagining how well I'd relate to someone who is happy to settle here when all I want to do is escape. In high school, my only close friends were the kids with similar views on escaping the state for college. I just don't relate or understand people who are content to remain within the same 50 mile radius of where they were born. It's hard for me to fathom. I need to make friends soon though or I'll sink into depression from the sheer loneliness. As I've always said, I can't handle isolation.
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