School starts in 4 days...

I've been trying to figure out what it is exactly that I've been feeling lately. I think I've finally pegged the emotion gripping me- fear. I'm afraid of failing at this job. Not necessarily in the sense that I'm worried I won't do well and that I'll be at risk of being fired (I suppose that is a natural thing to fear, I hope?), but more in the sense that I'm realizing the greater significance of the work I will be doing. If I fail at this job, I won't be losing a company money but affecting someone's future. Teaching has an extra responsibility to it than just doing the job fundamentals. I am responsible for someone else's education. That's a lot of pressure.

I'm terribly glad I live at home, however. I would be so bored if I lived alone. I would have to have a roommate or something. A pet pig. Hah. I had forgotten how lonely it can be to have little human interaction after the work day is done. I more or less did that one summer when I lived with relative strangers who never really became more than such until after I had moved out. I may be young and living at home with all the disappointing stigma attached to "living with my parents", but at least I'm happy. It's going to be exciting watching my brother this year. I haven't been home for so long that my relationship with him is not very strong, unfortunately. My sisters and I have always been close, even if I tend to relapse into non-communicative status every month or two. My brother though? He's always been the little kid who it was a treat to see when I came home. Now he is growing up into a mini adult. I suppose in return I'm relapsing from adult to mini adult haha.

In other news, I entered a drawing to win a house today. I'd love to win; the house is amazing. A bit isolated on a mountain ridge, but if I won, and my family then moved, I'd have my own suite. Living at home would become that much more fun...